Manoj couldn’t believe he had run up the stairs for 9 stories. He had had no choice but to leave the elevator on the 10th floor; he couldn’t wait for the deliverymen to finish unloading someone’s new couch. He didn’t have that much time. He had to get on the terrace as soon as he could.

Anuj was already there. Standing on the ledge, ready to jump. “Stop,” Manoj shouted as he rushed through the terrace door towards the edge of the building. “Anuj! Get down, goddammit.”

“Stop, don’t come near me,” Anuj shouted back from the top of the parapet. “Stop or I’ll jump.”

He moved an inch closer to the edge, if it was possible. He was already at the very edge, a good part of his shoes on nothing but thin air. Anuj looked down at the scene below him. Everything was so small. The cars were tinier than toy cars; the people were barely visible. It did put life into perspective; he had been telling himself. A bird’s eye view, as the popular phrase went, gave one a good sense of how inconsequential one was. Did he really matter in the grand scheme of things? Ah! Another phrase. Another cliched phrase he wouldn’t have to use after today.

“Why are you doing this?” Manoj asked, jolting Anuj out of his trance-like state in which he had been staring at the world below him.

“You know exactly why I’m doing this,” he replied. “Don’t act like you don’t.”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“What does your sorry change? It doesn’t bring back the past, does it?” Another cliched phrase. He didn’t know he was so full of them.

“I know it doesn’t,” Manoj said. “But that doesn’t mean you kill yourself. What about Radhika. Have you thought of what she would go through?”

Anuj had. He had thought about what Radhika would go through. He had thought about what Nitin would go through. He had thought of his parents. All of them would be devastated. They would cry for their loss, the way people did when they lost a loved one. But they would get over it with time, the way people eventually did. Life didn’t give you a chance to dwell in sorrow for too long. At least not the same sorrow. Before long his parents, Radhika, Nitin and the few others would have something else to feel sad about.

“There’s no need to bring Radhika into this,” he told Manoj. “She’ll be fine.”

“No, she won’t be. You have no idea how much she will miss you.”

“Why do you care?”

“I care about you, Anuj. You know I do.”

“Really? You wouldn’t have done what you did if you cared.”

“These things happen. I know…”

“Enough of that,” Anuj cut him off. “That happened and now this is happening.”

Anuj turned back towards the emptiness below him. Manoj took the opportunity to move a few steps closer to him. If only he could get closer, he could probably grab Anuj. He was still panting from sprinting up the stairs. He was too old to be doing that. His knees weren’t strong enough anymore. And of course, the beer belly he had so staunchly built over the years wasn’t of any help. Radhika had called him to come to their building as fast he could. At first he hadn’t believed his ears when she told him that Anuj had gone up to the terrace to commit suicide. But he believed when he saw him from the building compound – a silhouette in front the morning sky. Batman-like, though without the cape or the ability to fly. Batman who would have a heart attack on the way down and break into a million places upon hitting the ground.

“I told you to not move,” Anuj warned Manoj. He hadn’t turned back but could sense Manoj getting closer.

“Okay, okay, fine I won’t,” Manoj assured. “But please get down from there. This is madness. You can’t jump and kill yourself.”

“I’ll do whatever I want to do; you did, didn’t you?”

“Look, Anuj, I know what happened was wrong. I’ve said sorry for that a million times. And I know I can’t change the past; I can’t undo what I did. But do you really think it is something to die over? Come on, get down from there.”

Was it something to die over was a good question, Anuj realised. Was it really? He had felt like he didn’t want to live when he found out what Manoj had done. But did he really want to jump off the building and kill himself? He was suddenly not sure. Suicide wasn’t an easy thing to do, apparently. He had been standing on the ledge for close to an hour now and he still hadn’t jumped. It was scary how far below the ground was. He hadn’t realised how gutsy one had to be to kill one’s own self. It definitely wasn’t for the weak. At that moment, he had newfound respect for every person who had killed themselves. Especially the ones who had jumped off tall buildings.

Anuj looked back at Manoj, who had moved in a little closer. This time, he didn’t say anything. Manoj took that as a good sign and tried to get closer. “Can you please step down from there now?” he pleaded, close enough now to stretch his hand out towards Anuj. He hoped Anuj would take his hand. He could grab his legs if he wanted to, but Manoj didn’t want to risk that. What if that made Anuj slip and fall? It would be easier if he could guide Anuj down by the hand.

Anuj turned partially towards Manoj. He looked at the outstretched hand; he looked down at the world below him. Maybe he didn’t want to jump to his death. But he didn’t want to live either, not with the pain of what had happened. Accepting Manoj’s hand was a tough decision to take, one that he wished he didn’t need to. Why did Manoj have to come up to the terrace to be a saviour? Anuj wished he had the guts to jump before Manoj had showed up.

“Anuj, please,” Manoj pleaded again. Anuj sighed and bent down as he leaned forward to take Manoj’s hand. Heaving a sigh of relief himself, Manoj stepped right up to the ledge. “I really am sorry,” he told Anuj, who was now gripping his wrist with both hands. “I’m not,” replied Anuj before jumping off the building and pulling Manoj down with himself towards the tiny world 20 storeys below.