Rupesh Ruhail is at it again. The serial surveyor is out with his second survey of the year. Who has he surveyed this time? Millennials, of course.

“Millennials are a big part of our workforce today,” says Ruhail. “As the nation grows, more and more young people will start working, will begin their first jobs, which is why it is very important to understand their needs.”

Ruhail set out to interview working millennials to find out the challenges that they faced at their workplaces. The survey results were published recently and unsurprisingly, a majority of the millennial respondents said that the biggest threat to their productivity was cab availability, or rather, the lack of it.

“It is not like I don’t want to come to work, you know,” one millennial this reporter spoke to said. “I like to come to work, like, you know, it’s fun. But what can I do if I’m not finding any cabs?”

It is believed that the reason why millennials are late in coming to work is not because they’re lazy and sleep till late, but because they don’t get a cab to come to work.

“I wake up at 6 every morning,” the same millennial said, “and by 7 I start looking for cabs.” She went on to say that she uses two phones to look for cabs. One phone has the Uber app and the other, the Ola app. “These apps always shows cab icons, but there are no cabs that are actually available.”

According to her, it usually takes her 3 to 4 hours to finally find a cab. And she’s not alone. Most of the participants in the survey estimated the same amount of time.

When Ruhail and his team asked the millennials about the alternate modes of commute they had tried, one millennial responded with, “As in?”

It stuck to them as improbable that there could be other ways of reaching office apart from app-based cab services like Uber and Ola.

One millennial nearly fainted when he was told that people used to come to work even a few years back when there was no Uber and Ola. Upon regaining some of his senses, he asked, “But how?”

“You mean like buses or autos? Ewww!” was his reaction to the mention of public transport.

Ruhail says, “Almost reluctantly, we asked them about private transport, like buying their own scooter or something.” The millennials expressed greater shock at that. “Driving is work and how they can do work before going to work, is what they said.” For millennials, driving is someone else’s job, not theirs.

While it is righteous of millennials to not take away the job of cab drivers, to not eat into their rozi-roti, the fact remains that Uber and Ola need to up their game if they want the Indian economy to grow.

Millennials, by and large, want to come to office and work, but how will they if they don’t get cabs? “This is the said truth of our country today,” another millennial said. “We are not provided with basic facilities like cabs.”

Ruhail was seen shaking his head when he heard this.

What you just read was satire. In reality, cab drivers are the real millennials.